Hello all,

Right now, I'm watching, LIVE, the Michael Jackson Memorial Service that's in the Staple Center here in Los Angeles. That's the only reason why I'm awake. Mariah Carey, Queen Latifah, Lionel Richie, and Stevie Wonder have sang and I'm sure only more will come in the future.

Michael Jackson died almost two weeks ago, yes, but his funeral is here today and I thought it would be a perfect time to write a journal in his memory. I may be not apart of the generation that knew him best, but I know his music, his talent, and his spirit.

So...what is there to say other than what hasn't been said? My opinion about the man?

Since Michael Jackson died, I've had a keen interest on his life ( poor timing on my part ) and his music and I found I never really appreciated his entertainment. The way he moved on stage, his raw skill that was displayed with such a vivid charisma that it seemed like he was possessed by something. He sang with strong passion and danced with a genius endowment. His love for the world seems to pour out from his lyrics.

It was unfortunate that I only knew Michael, during the time when I was young, as the "freak", the jokes, and the constant bashing. His drop-backs of his career when he was accused of child molestation that was constantly on the news. I was only fourteen at the time and that's how I knew him. I knew some of his music, but not as much as his scandals and issues. Michael Jackson is a fine example of how the media can take advantage of your life, twist you, and make you appear to be this ugly thing when you're not.

( I don't believe in speaking ill of the dead. I'm very well against it; so, if you have an negative opinion about him, I'd prefer it if you'd keep it to yourself )

Now, don't take me as one of those obsessed fans. I've seen what people have done. I'm not one of them. I'm the sort of person who admires and stands in awe of obvious talent ( not just because I'm from Vegas either ). I've seen his performances on television and his music videos. His dancing and his singing. That fresh movement and the powerful spirit, something that no one...for a long, long time...I believe...can touch.

That fierce mentality on stage, his seemed fearless and all-powerful. His facial expression was a mixture of mischievous playfulness and boundless excitement. Belting out his voice, he made an audience go into a frenzy with a simple movement of his feet. Michael could command the audience like a puppet master. From a wild mosh to a gentle simmer, quiet as a mouse, he commanded it with his voice and body.

I think that's what today's artists lack. That command and respect. The strength to move so many people in so many different ways is unbelievable. Most artists can whip an audience into an excitement but they never quite calmed down to hear their singer speak...I think that's what Michael had.

Michael wrote his songs, made his own dance moves, and broke so many barriers. Not only racial barriers, but barriers for future artists to go through for generations to come. From what he created, others branched out. Michael planted the seed and that seed grew into a large, prosperous tree that bore fruit. Many artists sprouted from that tree and added their own seeds. I think Michael made a great -- if not the greatest -- influence on pop music.

People from around the world knew who he was. I think it's what we, as people, had in common: we knew who Michael Jackson was and was knew his music. Michael could go to a remote country and people will still flock to him like moths to a light. He could go to a first-world country and it would be all over the news where he would preform. In a sense, everything would stop in order to get a glimpse of their favourite star.

It's what happened when he died. The world stopped turning and people stopped speaking in shock, only to say: What? I found out through the Internet via Digg.com. The initial shock didn't hit me until a week later. The idea that such a profound entertainer is gone was painful and depressing, basically. I called my friend, who's father was a big fan, and told them the news within seconds of knowing. I stayed glued to my T.V. to see what happened. What would happen. Good or bad, I was there, and so were many others. And when he died, I couldn't help but feel lost.

But what struck me, despite his power, was his frail appearance. His thin body danced across the stage...how feminine he was. It was unorthodox. Michael wasn't physically strong. If anything, he was pressured to stay thin in order to stay in shape. He wanted to stay thin in order to make sure he could dance the way he could; to move the way he could. I wonder if that ever effected him: that pressure to stay on top.

Michael had been through a lot. I've read it and I'm astonished at what had happened in his childhood and the perspective on life. He still smiled and sang because it's what made him happy. It's what he loved.

I can only imagine what kind of life he had. Being on the tabloids. Every movement you make being recorded and anything wrong, people pick at it like a fresh wound or an irritating thorn on your side. I wonder what he dreamed after being on that stage. I know I probably would be dancing in my sleep if I could! The excitement but the bitter downfall that can happen...that will happen because that's how life will go. Nothing is perfect. But nothing is permanent either.

Now for the songs...

I haven't listened to every single song he's made. I've heard many but not them all. I'd have to say I like Rock With You, Human Nature, The Way You Make Me Feel and...well, there's just too many! I haven't got a favourite!

So...the best way that I can remember Michael Jackson is through his songs and his passion. His smile and the memories. His music and voice will forever be timeless through the ages. I'd happy to say I love his music and I love his spirit. His smile and love of the world, which is so rare today, to be expressed in such a way: through his heart.

Thanks for reading this and I hope you agree with the most part of what I've written. I feel, as a writer, I cannot do much more than this. Through my words I can express my remorse and sadness as best I can. I'll miss Michael on a different level.



Goodbye Michael, we love you. Especially me.